A Dad's Perspective: How Doula Support Transformed Our Orange County Birth Experience

As we continue our Orange County birth stories series, we are thrilled to be able to share another dad story with you. Thank you Tim for sharing and trusting Labor of Love.

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As a dad-to-be, I knew that the birth of my child would be a big day. But like many first-time fathers, I didn’t fully understand what to expect or how I would feel when the time came. I had heard the term “doula” before, but I never thought much about it. I figured the medical team would handle everything and that my job would be to hold my wife’s hand and offer the occasional comforting word. I had no idea that having a doula by our side would not only transform the experience for my wife but also for me, as the father.

This is the story of how hiring a doula helped me become a more confident, present, and supportive partner—and how, as a dad, I learned just how important our doula's presence was during the birth of our daughter.

When my wife and I found out we were expecting, we were overjoyed AND a little nervous. As the months went by, my wife began to dive into all the details of preparing for birth: researching birth plans and reading books on childbirth. We also took the Connected Childbirth Series by Labor of Love that were so informative! But even with all the preparation, I found myself feeling unsure about my role. I wanted to support my wife as best I could, but the thought of her going through labor made me feel anxious.

We started talking about hiring a doula after taking the childbirth classes. At first, I was skeptical. I wasn’t sure what a doula could really do that a doctor or nurse couldn’t. But after hearing how our friend’s doula had been a constant source of comfort and support during her own birth, we decided to meet with one.

We connected with Staci from Labor of Love, and she helped us connect with our doula who instantly put us both at ease. She was warm and so knowledgeable, I was impressed with how quickly my wife relaxed with her around. She put both of us ease. What was also important to me was that our doula made sure to check in with my concerns and asked me, how I imagined supporting my wife during labor. I was grateful that she was there for both of us.

On the big day, when our doula arrived, it felt like a wave of relief swept over the room. I was so grateful to have her there. She immediately took charge of things without taking over, guiding us with calm, steady confidence. She helped me understand how to support my wife in this moment, but more importantly, she gave me the confidence in the support I was offering.

As labor progressed, the intensity increased. I became more nervous as my wife was showing signs of major exhaustion. There were moments when I felt unsure whether I was doing enough to help her, and our doula helped me focus on how brave my wife was so that I don't worry. She gave me the confidence to do things I wouldn’t have thought of on my own.

Looking back, I can honestly say that hiring a doula was one of the best decisions we made during our pregnancy. The experience taught me that a doula there for the entire family, including the dad.

If you’re a dad-to-be, I can’t recommend having a doula enough. Having a professional by your side who can offer guidance, reassurance, and practical support is invaluable. It not only improves your partner’s experience but also helps you step into your role as a father with confidence, understanding, and love. Because when you’re standing at the birth of your child, there’s no such thing as too much support—especially when it comes from someone who truly cares about making sure you and your partner have the best experience possible.