An Dad’s Birth Doula Journey: Real Birth Stories from Orange County

While birth doulas do offer extensive support to the birthing person, the partner’s experience is just as important. As a father-to-be, navigating the intense emotions, decisions, and challenges of supporting your partner through childbirth can feel overwhelming. This is where a our doula support steps in — not just for the birthing person but for dads, too.

In continuing with our Orange County birth stories series, we wanted to share another incredible journey with you! Thank you Michael for sharing your amazing story and trusting Labor of Love.

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For many dads, the experience of expecting a baby comes with a mix of excitement, anxiety, and a sense of responsibility. You’re preparing for one of the biggest transitions of your life, but you might not always know exactly what role you should play during labor.

When my wife and I found out we were expecting, we were both thrilled, but the reality of labor and birth loomed large on the horizon. While my partner was focused on things like prenatal checkups and birth plans, I found myself unsure about how I could best support her. I had heard of doulas before and knew that my wife wanted one. I was relieved that my wife would have such great support but never expected that our doula would actually offer me, she was invaluable!

Doulas ARE for Orange County Birth Dads

One of the most important things I learned during the pregnancy journey was that it’s okay to feel uncertain. Like many men, I had the tendency to try and hide my worries and concerns about the birth, thinking I had to be "strong" for my partner. But when the labor started, I realized that both of us needed support as I became very worried even though I wanted to be strong for my wife.

Our doula was there to provide calm reassurance not just for my wife but for me as well. When labor actually started, I could see my wife’s anxiety rising, our doula guided me through how to help her stay calm and focused. She gently reminded me to check in with myself, too, asking how I was feeling and giving me space to voice my own concerns.

This emotional support was a game-changer. I had someone who was there to shoulder the responsibility. This gave me confidence and allowed me to be fully present, both for my wife and our baby.

Doulas are for DADS

The most stressful part for me was all the decisions that need to be made—especially in the midst of labor when emotions are high. Our doula didn’t just help us create a birth plan; she helped us understand what the options were and, most importantly, how to advocate for ourselves when those decisions needed to be made.

When it came time for my wife to make choices about pain management or whether to try different labor positions, our doula gave us the information we needed to make informed decisions. As a partner, I felt included in these decisions, even if I didn’t fully understand all the medical jargon. The doula acted as a bridge between us and the medical team, helping to ensure that my wife's wishes were respected while also supporting me as we navigated the moment-to-moment decisions.

DOULAS are for dads

When labor began, I quickly learned that the environment you create is just as important as the people in the room. Our doula’s presence brought an undeniable sense of calm. She set the tone by speaking in a soothing voice, dimming the lights, and playing calming music that helped both of us relax.

What I hadn’t anticipated was how much of an emotional anchor the doula would be for me. When the intensity of labor increased and I felt myself getting overwhelmed, our doula was there to remind me to breathe, to focus, and to stay grounded. She kept the energy calm and focused, ensuring that we were both able to make clear decisions during such an emotional and intense experience.

Once our baby arrived, the support didn’t stop. The doula didn’t just help us during labor; she continued to offer practical support in the postpartum period as well. Whether it was checking in on how we were adjusting to parenthood, providing breastfeeding support for my wife, or helping us understand what to expect during the first few weeks with a newborn, our doula’s guidance was invaluable.

As a dad, I felt a sense of relief knowing that I wasn’t alone in this new chapter. I had someone who could provide practical advice while supporting my partner, who was also navigating the postpartum transition. This made me feel more confident as a father and as a partner, knowing that I wasn’t doing this alone.

A Doula Is There for the Whole Family

Having a doula present during our birth was an eye-opening experience. Not only did she support my wife in ways I couldn’t, but she also helped me step into my own role as a confident, present, and supportive father. From emotional reassurance to physical comfort measures, to guiding us through difficult decisions, the doula made our birth experience a shared journey of connection, trust, and love.

So, to all the dads out there who might be unsure about the role of a doula: don’t hesitate to embrace their support. You are just as important in this journey as your partner, and a doula can make all the difference in helping you feel empowered, confident, and connected to the beautiful process of bringing your baby into the world.